And I must admit: working towards happiness is fun! It isnt an instant thing. Theres an old Confucius saying that Im sure many of you have heard: Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life. Its a nice sounding quote and it is what we all dream of. Why cant I make a change?), we begin to identify the behaviors or fears that are holding us back from trying something new. I for one happen to be one of those insanely lucky people who love life, but that doesnt mean that I can just stop working at it. Happy people engage in deep, meaningful conversations. Those 15 minutes add up to an extra 65 hours of knowledge-building a year. Your job is to choose which choice leads to the best outcome. Germany Kent, Its so important to realize that every time you get upset, it drains your emotional energy. It could be getting a job, a promotion, a spouse, a kid; the possibilities are endless. Ups and downs are normal. We can have everything we want, and that is the gift and the choice. But what if I told you that you can actually choose happiness? Happiness is a state of mind: 8 top tips True happiness is not a temporary feeling that comes and goes, but rather something that guides our thoughts and our reactions to what happens in our lives. 11) Happiness is a choice, but so is everything else. This article contains real examples of how you can choose happiness. I realize that this notion might make you feel scared. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us. Ashley Montagu, One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. Iris Murdoch, People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest. George Matthew Allen, The happiness of life is made up of minute fractionsthe little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, , and the countless other infinitesimal of pleasurable thought and genial feeling. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life, than on the nature of those events themselves. Baron Alexander von Humboldt, Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. John M. Good, Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. Abstract People make choices among different options for different reasons. But as each of us knows from experience, life's unexpected turns can often throw us off course in our pursuit of happiness. "I thought I was doing everything right. Getting angry a lot messes with your health. Joyce Meyer, I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. I realize that this notion might make you feel scared. And that's because a good portion of your everyday actions converge towards cultivating an overall pleasant mood. Learn some healthy recipes that you truly enjoy eating. This is the wear and tear of the world that comes from desiring and expecting what you dont have. Happiness is not a destination. It can be as simple as being the first to speak up during a meeting, trying a new cuisine, signing up for an online class, or having a vulnerable conversation with a friend. Researchers are only now beginning to unveil the true complexity of this mental state. What Is a Hybrid Work Schedule And How To Make It Work, 3 Fundamentals of Staying Focused and Improving Concentration, How To Make Time For Things That Matter by Connor Swenson, Procrastination And Laziness: Their Differences & Connections, Bedtime Procrastination: Why You Do It And How To Break It, 15 Books on Procrastination To Help You Start Taking Action, How to Achieve Your Goal Effectively (Step-by-Step Guide), How to Overcome Complacency in the Workplace, How to Commit to Your Passion Projects When Youre Busy, How to Cope With Anxiety-Induced Procrastination, How to Break the Perfectionism-Procrastination Loop, Why You Should Stop Avoiding Difficult Tasks (And How to Do So), Work Life Balance for Women: What It Means & How to Find It, 6 Essential Mindsets For Continuous Career Growth, How to Discover Your Next Career Move Amid the Great Resignation, The Key to Creating a Vibrant (And Magical Life) by Lee Cockerell, 9 Tips on How To Disconnect From Work And Stay Present. But even if we do have manythings in our lives to make us happy we still have to work at being grateful for them. Even a regular Joe like you and I pursue happiness daily, even though we might not have an intellectual interest in this subject. Current research suggests that people who are usually in a positive mood recover from stress faster and better. You can still feel angry or sad for a period of time, but choose to work through that to happiness. Amanda Pinnock chose to experience another culture even though she was worried about fitting in. Happiness can be a process, goal, or emotion, depending on how you look at it. People who choose to recover from addiction choose to take proactive steps toward recovery. Solving this dilemma seems complex it is a paradox, after all. For example, the "glass half full or half empty." Looking at the glass as half-empty can bring despair and sadness, making you feel like you need to start from scratch to fill the glass . Many people have the belief that if they achieve something important to them they will be happy for the rest of their days without having to put any more work into it. What happens when you master these skills? You cannot pour from an empty cup. How do you experience happiness if you dont know sadness and pain? Maharishi Mahesh Yogi You can choose to be happy and you can choose not to be. Maybe we perpetuate this myth as an excuse to accept our depressing condition. Here are some of the most prominent studies in the happiness field: Research keeps being produced that confirms these findings. " Helen Keller, "I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. Happy folks tend to find the good aspects of a situation, no matter how grueling it can look on the outside. While intentional adaptability takes time and practice to get the hang of, through my work, Ive identified three primary skills that can help you get started. Because it Consolidates Your Relationship, 7. Many people dont experience love from othersand they are broken. Happy people smile and laugh more. Listen Read Summary Happiness is a condition of circumstance. Once youve put down all your ideas, go over your list and highlight the one that lights you up the most. Courage helps you step into fear knowing it is a universal, biological human emotion, and one that you can embrace and use to shape the change youre trying to make. In any situation, you can choose to concentrate on what makes you happy. I have high functioning autism and at first really did not want to join the group because I felt that I didnt want to be identified in that way. Mutual respect: you respect the ideas, values, and beliefs of the other person and vice versa. How To Practice Self-Advocacy in the Workplace (Go-to Guide), How To Turn Your Mid-Career Crisis Into an Opportunity, Time Poverty: What To Do If You Feel Time Poor, 8 Misconceptions of Time That Make You Less Productive. It's about creating gratitude. If they refuse to cooperate, kindly tell them that you need to protect your energy unless they want to compromise. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy." - Ralph Marston "Don't forget to tell yourself positive things daily! Try to work out a plan for your relationship. As it turns out, exercise benefits recovery in a number of ways: Even if you dont take it to that extent, start small and exercise on a regular basis, then build up to greater challenges. Quite a lot. Happy people are content being alone. Happiness is what you are, not what you have." Since you can't eliminate stress entirely, the best thing you can do is try to face it with a positive attitude. Reserve your time and energy for things that matter to you, and dont waste them trying to impress. I interviewed more than 100 people between the age of 22 and 70 from various walks of life. The following is an excerpt from that conversation: Thats a great skill for surviving but its not ideal for thriving. Sometimes this choice isnt always possible. . The idea that happiness is a choice seems to be just that, an idea, and one that doesnt apply to you. Does choosing happiness mean that I can instantly change how I feel? It stressed me out, and I was losing aspirations left and right. Try removing the word busy from your vocabulary for just one week and observe how it impacts your mindset, your behavior, and the connection you have with others. Happiness is finding joy in everyday experiences. According to Amanda: Fijians are probably the happiest and humblest people in the world. Each inhalation is essential, and with every inhalation, exhalation must follow. We are taught that, once we finally find it, we'll be forever satisfied in our lives, and so we live feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, chasing this dream, never stopping to question if it is . You just have to start small and build habits over time. It is important to note that while we are talking about this topic, know that not everything is black and white. Through my workshops in large corporations, I discovered that when we normalize fear and failure by sharing it openly with our peers, we realize that many of our fears are shared and that we are not alone. More specifically, ~$75,000 is the number from which money begins to feel less relevant in terms of emotional well-being. Be who you want. My goal in starting this company was to redefine what it means to be happy by giving myself and others the skills and language to relate to happiness in a more realistic and healthier way. [2]. 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N As you can see, happiness is ultimately a choice. All of these acts will bring happiness. People make choices among different options for different reasons. [4], According to This Is Finland, Sisu is extraordinary courage and determination in the face of adversity Sisu is embodied by people everywhere who defy the odds and hold on to hope when at first there seems to be none.. Chances are you see more money now than you ever have in your life, yet youre still trapped in the paradox, struggling to understand why youre unhappy. Two words: pleasure and purpose. Finding some of those people to be toxic friends or family? What was the overall vibe of the event? 8, 2018. Things that make you proud and bring joy. Try to lift the corners of your mouth towards your eyes, You become much more productive if you do this every day, You achieve the thing that could otherwise cause procrastination. Reach your highest potential with coaching! Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. Give your time, your talents, a few kind words. Equally it stops us from hiding behind a word that reveals no useful information to others, and more often than not, is code for something else: anxiety, loneliness, our need for self-validation or FOMO (fear of missing out). - Aeschylus, "Happiness is not a destination, it's a journey. You may have heard: We live in a world that is designed to distract us. You can think of choosing to be happy as choosing to recover from depression. This can be quite exhausting mentally, so they need to be given some grace for their actions! We all look to BE happy, but nobody truly ever can find it. This teaches us not to judge a book by its cover. I don't think so. That leaves you with a choice: Resist suffering Accept suffering When in comes to happiness, we have a choice. " Thomas Jefferson, "Today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. Pursuing happiness is very much like building a house. Dont wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Earl Nightingale, Be so happy that when others look at you, they become happy too. Harbhajan Singh Yogi, Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Ugh! "Barry very explicity reveals the options and choices we can all make to find the road to happiness." BERNIE SIEGEL, M.D. Many of our choices are automatic. Based on research, author Penny Locaso came up with a new definition of happiness and derived how. They should also be enjoyable. Then there were the locals in Fiji, the country shed chosen for the program. 1, pp. But has that ever actually happened to anyone? I am a professional counselor, life, and health coach. Readers should consult with a licensed professional to get advice for their individual situation. Breathing the fresh air, getting the movement in, seeing some furry friends. You probably don't realize it, but you answer that question every time your brain says, "I'll be happy. Everyone can achieve happiness to some degree in their everyday lives. I recently became happier by taking more time to be grateful. [3]. Lets dive in further to gain a deeper understanding. Theres no point dwelling in the dark and ignoring the light of the stars. Carrie Hope Fletcher, Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Happy people . Making everyone have a healthy brain would make a significant difference in happiness around the world because having a healthy brain is the first step. As one study revealed, people who are surrounded by many happy people and those who are central in the network are more likely to become happy in the future. Share in the comments below! You cannot control what happened in the past, and what is happening RIGHT NOW controls your future, so focus on the present moment! Valerie Bertinelli Happiness radiates like the fragrance from a flower and draws all good things towards you. Pleasure, comfort, gratitude, hope, and inspiration are examples of positive emotions that increase our happiness and move us to flourish. Long story short, the more you invest in actions, practices, and choices that contribute to your overall sense of well-being, the more equipped you are to handle stress. In essence, we are choosing happiness. Since you spend a good portion of your waking hours working, it's obvious that your career greatly influences your overall sense of happiness and well-being. I know that I can choose to be happy. But research suggests that our mindset and our behaviours can also play a significant role in shaping our experience of happiness. But his work is part of a growing body of research on choice. go ahead and stand up for what you believe in. In one study,published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, researchers discovered that intentionally practicing gratitude and positive thinking increased happiness levels. Also, choose when to receive. Now, dedicate a small amount of time each day to learning more about it. - Valerie Bertinelli, "Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times." They seemed to truly understand how happiness is a choice. Building a fulfilling career will take some effort and risks on your part, but it's a whole lot easier when you face this challenge with a happy and positive attitude. If you get into the science-side of things. Give yourself peace of mind. This lines up very well with sisu, although sisu asks you to take it to another level and challenge yourself beyond your comfort level. Happiness is generally linked to experiencing more positive feelings than negative ones. Choosing to look at the bright side in situations can help with your overall happiness. [2]. In short, if you want to be a happier human, share your joys with others and also spend time around people who radiate positive emotions. The reality is that the concept of happiness us, in fact, flawed. 26, no. According to a recent study, happiness predicts future civic engagement across the transition to adulthood and into midlife. Weve adapted because weve been forced to. Curiosity requires us to be fully present, to listen more than we speak, to ask more questions, be observant of new ideas, and embrace the unfamiliar. Up until that point, I had believed that if I ticked a series of boxes (flashy career, two-story home, fast car, international travel) I would reach success and live my days out happy. Later, I worked on being happier during my alone time by exercising and doing meditation. Purpose is all about living a life that feels. To earn her degree in global health, she needed to do a study abroad program, but she was worried she was going to be disconnected from her group as a nontraditional student earning her degree online. Back in class, divide the students into groups of 6-7 students and ask them to discuss the following three questions regarding the article they have read. The reality is that it is flawed. See more from Ascend here. This might involve pursuing a career that aligns with our values, volunteering for causes we care about, or just finding and doing things that bring us joy. Many of them have faced extreme adversities such as battling a disease, the death of a loved one, or something that has harmed their appearanceyet they still find happiness. " Dale Carnegie, "It is neither wealth nor splendor; but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness. When I was asked how I was, instead of saying, Im so busy, I would say, Im positively engaged doing XYZ., Letting go of the word busy is the first step toward owning your actions and explaining them with intentionality. Surround yourself with healthy snacks like fruits. Carry a smile. This didnt pull her down: In her grief, she chose gratitude and made an intentional choice to continue living a full life not only for herself and for her mental wellbeing, but for others who relied on her. Some psychologists refer to this as emodiversity the ability to experience a diverse range of emotions in equal measure. It really put into perspective whats most important: family, loved ones and the environment.. Integrity: you both follow through on commitments made to each other. 20 Secrets of AlwaysHappy People, How to Always ChooseHappinessEven During Tough Times, How to HaveHappyThoughts and Train Your Brain to BeHappy, People Make Time For What They Want And You Should Too, How to Say No Nicely Over Text (Examples For Different Scenarios), How to Focus With ADHD: 7 Practical Strategies, How To Say No At Work Without Making Enemies, How to Prioritize Goals When You Have a Lot to Achieve. It's a message that you probably come across fairly often. Many of the people I interacted with carried a fear of failure, financial instability, and judgement from others and themselves around not being good enough. When you choose to include other people in your happiness, then with it comes communityin both social networks and shared experiences. Become less afraid of saying no, and say it often. . The Finns have made a point of recovering by embracing a philosophy called sisu, which is a shared value of grit, determination, and rational action, even when life is painful. Exercise helps you sleep better and increases feelings of well-being. If humans were capable of staying happy forever then they would stop working altogether and society would fall apart. Optimism is a key factor in happiness. [10] L. C. Walsh, J. K. Boehm and S. Lyubomirsky, Does happiness promote career success? Please do your own research before making any online purchase. What was the atmosphere? There's a good chance their vibe will stick' to you as well. It comes from your own actions." Giving is one of the number one things that bring joy. It took me a while, but eventually I got to the point where I was walking for 2 hours a day and meditating almost every day. #1: Accept Suffering You might wonder why the first tip is about the acceptance of suffering. It is a great chance to clear your mind, whether you hike at a state park or simply go to your own backyard. The environment in which you live can have a real impact on your mood and happiness. Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, Happiness is Not About How Much Money You Have, 2. Know that happiness isnt a constant. Cultivating focus is about learning how to step away from the constant white noise of busyness. In a nutshell, the seven principles that build fulfilling and lasting relationships are: Happiness and relationship satisfaction potentiate each other, so make sure to invest in both if you wish to enjoy a fulfilling life. It can be considered quite complex, in the sense, one's happiness is dependent on a magnitude of internal and external factors. Not convinced yet? Become more comfortable sitting with quiet and stillness, because they know its where the brain does its most powerful work. Look at truly happy people. At first it did take some effort to get used to but over time I came to love it because I met so many interesting people who were all very loving towards me. Yet the answer is a lot simpler than you might expect: happiness is a choice. Long story short, happiness is neither `the secret` to longevity nor the universal cure to suffering and illness. Find true happiness. A VIRTUOUS CIRCLE. So, I decided to disrupt the status quo. If you get into the science-side of things. As social creatures, we share most of our positive experiences with other people. I think choosing happiness means making hundreds of little choices that take my days in the direction of overall happy life. It's called Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, an American psychologist, researcher, and leading expert in relationships and marriage. And how do we really do it? I set myself a bold mission that by 2025, I would teach 10 million humans how to find their happiness. Choosing happiness might not always be as simple as it sounds, but its wise to do it because this experience: Perhaps happiness isn't just the absence of distress or negative experiences, but the presence of pleasant experiences, the willingness to observe the bright side of things, and the desire to deliberately follow paths that lead to joy and fulfillment. You can choose to be happy. Your hobbies and things that you do outside of school or your career should reflect who you are as a person. Even current evidence highlights a strong relationship between happiness and career success. After all, money grants you access to valuable resources (health services, education, housing, leisure activities, and so on). His work focuses mainly on strategies designed to help people manage and prevent two of the most common emotional problems anxiety and depression. The news came shortly after she learned of his unexpected suicide. Happiness is defined as a state of well-being and contentment. Thats when I set off on my next adventure: building a methodology to hack happiness. Look at what is happening to you and react in a way to bring yourself peace. The same goes for happiness; without regular maintenance, there's a good chance you'll end up drowning in unpleasant emotions and negativity. Life is complex and uncertain. When we ask questions (Why cant I move somewhere new? She has identifiedthree primary skills to become more adaptable: focus, courage, and curiosity. Happiness is (and has always been) a topic of great interest among thinkers, dreamers, philosophers, and scientists. The answer to this question can help you understand what happiness is. It became a choice, when I realised, I was in fact unhappy. 2, pp. I do not mean that I blame people who are unhappy for their unhappiness. The things that made me truly happy human connection, positively impacting the lives of others, and being present had been sidelined by my pursuit of success. Now, I must admit that does sound exhausting. That was the take-away from a longitudinal study published in the journal Emotion. 52, pp. " Charles Spurgeon, "Success is getting what you want. But when you change your understanding of what it means to be happy, you may notice that you start to feel it much more. It's making the choice of taking care of my health, using my time and energy in a way that works for my welfare and core values, staying close to my inner child, it is learning to say "NO", it's accepting myself, it's about focusing on gratitude, and so much more! Happiness energizes us and is a highly sought after state of being. However, let's look at a few scientific insights that will change the way you see happiness: We like to think that some people are born with the `right` mindset for happiness. When were choosing happiness together, were choosing to care for each other, and the whole world opens up to infinite possibility. People who intentionally adapt unlock doors to possibility and potential. You need vision, a plan, resources, effort, and patience. Even if you arent feeling great, try simply smiling. Taking a scrapbooking class, participating in sports or hiking. But even in my imagination this never worked out. 1. Its amazing what choosing kindness and small acts of love can do for a person. Does it mean that even though I might be going through a mental illness, I can choose to be happy can heal miraculously? Success Relationship Expert, marriage family counselor, Have conducted sales training for 16 years, I am a happiness and empowerment coach I love to do breakthroughs if someone is stuck in unhappiness. Its all a question of how I view my life. Paulo Coelho, Happiness already exists in your life. Yet fear (along with failure) is one of the greatest levers you have available to enable your happiness. We are taught that, once we finally find it, well be forever satisfied in our lives, and so we live feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, chasing this dream, never stopping to question if it is, in fact, flawed. (Layous & Lyubomirsky, 2014). It can take multiple steps. 108-115, 2010. [7]. Now she helps women build the skills to raise capital and build businesses. Right from the start. It doesn't matter how intelligent, wealthy, educated, or resilient you are; as long as you're living and working in today's society, stress will be exerting a constant influence on your well-being. You must love yourself internally to glow externally." - Hannah Bronfman "Happiness in your heart is directly proportional to the quality of thoughts in your mind." - Asma Naqi In other words, although happiness is essentially a choice, choosing it might not be as easy as it sounds. In a way, the link between happiness and relationship satisfaction is self-explanatory. However, I do blame myself if I am unhappy. This disparity between income and happiness is called the Easterlin Paradox.[1]. Be the Best YOU! Organizational Psychologist, Exec Coach, Resilience Practitioner, Writer, and continuous learner. But even if you have achieved a high level you still have to put in the work to stay there. But regardless of explanations behind this phenomenon, one thing's for sure happiness is contagious. Participants who wrote letters expressing gratitude to others or wrote about positive experiences in their lives showed significant increases in happiness levels compared to a control group (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Surround themselves with unlike minds people who challenge them to look at the world through a different lens. Honesty: you are truthful and dont do things behind each others backs. Once you truly express who you are without caring what others think of youit is a freeing experience that brings great joy. See the. ENGAGE IN POSITIVE ACTIVITIES. Happiness is wanting what you get. Answer (1 of 7): I can give three examples in my Life of how I became happy by choosing to use these seemingly terrible situations as an opportunity to become stronger. Ok so that's a lot of science. "Happiness is a choice, not a result. Sisu is also about powering through exercises that are challenging and uncomfortable, such as taking a swim in an ice-cold river, running a marathon, or biking to work in the rain. Give to others what you canit doesnt have to be physical either. ; Through these experiments, I noticed a few consistent themes. [1]. One of today's leading experts on happiness is Sonja Lyubomirsky; a Russian-born American professor who published a series of papers that promoted the idea of sustainable happiness. - Dalai Lama, "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." " Denis Waitley, "It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. Sisu is simple: seize life, do it with courage, and build your courage by engaging with the world in challenging ways. Sustainable Development Solutions Network releases the World Happiness Report. 29, no. If you express gratitude, do acts of kindness and savor positive experiences, you could experience higher levels of happiness, This is what researchers found in a study theypublished in the Journal of Happiness Studies. May 12, 2020. Because it Helps You Cope with Stress Better, 4. [3] K. M. Sheldon and S. Lyubomirsky, Achieving Sustainable Gains in Happiness: Change Your Actions, not Your Circumstances*, Journal of Happiness Studies, vol. Productivity has become a disease, and busy has become our default. This is good, you are aware of your feelings and how you are reacting. Fill your room/home with things that represent who you are. You must fight for it, strive for it, and insist upon it. Elizabeth Gilbert, One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. Unknown, With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. It wasnt until I talked further with the group leader and tour guide that I realized they were giving us more than what they have for themselves on a daily basis.. But as each of us knows from experience, life's unexpected turns can often throw us off course in our pursuit of happiness. Since we're on the topic of relationships, allow me to share a book that will help you build a happy and lasting union with your significant other.
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happiness is a choice examples
